How to Cope With the Pain of Grief
Undoubtedly, one of the hardest experiences in human life is coping with the passing of a loved one or, as clarified by the Religion of God, of the Christ, and of the Holy Spirit, their return to the Spiritual World.
Facing the pain of grief can often feel unbearable, and living with the longing for a dear one, their absence in daily life, can be extremely difficult.
However, if you are going through the pain of grief, stay with us and keep reading. Or, if you know someone who is grieving and struggling to understand this challenging moment, share this message of comfort with them—it may bring them great relief. Rest assured that the Religion of the Third Millennium is here to provide the necessary support during this time.
Here, we will offer alternatives and possibilities, based on the teachings of Jesus and Ecumenical Spirituality, to strengthen your heart and help you navigate this process more peacefully.
In one of his reflections, writer Paiva Netto, President-Preacher of the Divine Religion, presents an important clarification on his blog (paivanetto.com/en):
“The great secret of Life is, by loving Life, knowing how to prepare for death—or Eternal Life—at the right time, determined by God.”
We encourage everyone to balance the best of our earthly journey while also recognizing that life continues after death and that we must prepare for the continuation of our journey in eternity—without fear or distress.
Health experts emphasize the importance of discussing death with family and friends in advance to ensure better preparation and to cope with grief in a healthier way.
The Pain of Grief and the Power of Dialogue
Below, read the words of Brazilian psychologist Karen Scavacini, co-founder, coordinator, and technical director of the Vita Alere Institute for Suicide Prevention and Postvention:
“Grief is a healthy and fundamental process that allows you to give new meaning to your life after a loss. Many people believe that grief should be avoided or that it follows a timeline. However, grief has biopsychosocial effects—it impacts your physical health, emotions, and relationships. In the world where you had that person around, they are no longer physically present. So, it's not just the loss of a person; it's the loss of everything you imagined experiencing with them in the future and everything you actually shared with them. Of course, the memories remain. We see that a person has processed their grief when suffering turns into longing. We will always miss those who have departed, but the suffering associated with that loss fades over time. That is the grieving process: we go through the loss, adapt to it, find new meaning in life, and cherish the memories. It is not about forgetting—far from it. It is important to remember and share stories about the loved one because they continue to live within their family and friends in a different way—through memory. So if we stop talking about them and believe we shouldn’t mention them, we create a taboo within the family. . . . A person’s reaction to grief depends on their previous experiences with loss—whether this is their first bereavement, their age, the circumstances of the death (accident, illness, etc.), their relationship with the deceased, and their beliefs about what happens after death. Each person’s grief is unique. Even within the same household, a father, mother, and sibling may grieve in entirely different ways, which can sometimes cause tension. Some may believe that grief should be expressed through tears, while others may express it differently. But we must understand that suffering manifests in different ways and must be respected.”
Therefore, it is important to talk about this subject. If there hasn’t been an opportunity to discuss grief with family, friends, and loved ones—to help prepare hearts to face this challenging reality—know that there are ways to ease the pain of loss.
Here are three key approaches:
1. Acknowledge the Eternity of Life
The Christ of God taught the Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well in His Holy Gospel according to John 4:24 that “God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in Spirit and in Truth.” And in Genesis 1:27, we learn that “God created human beings in His own image and likeness.”
Therefore, we were created as Eternal Spirits by God. We need to go through evolutionary periods on Earth to progress toward our Heavenly Father across multiple incarnations, but our true Homeland is the Spiritual World.
Understanding this reality not only helps us live more fraternally and connected to Goodness but also allows us to cope better with grief when a loved one returns to the Spiritual Homeland.
In the Holy Gospel of Jesus according to John 14:2, the Divine Master reassures us: “My Father’s House has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?” This confirms the continuity of Life after death and the welcoming embrace that He, along with His spiritual teams of Light, provides for those we love as they arrive in the Celestial Realms. Divine support is always present for them and for us in the difficult moments of grief.
In the book Os mortos não morrem [The Dead Do Not Die], Paiva Netto shares accounts of reunions that take place in the Spiritual World when we respect our time on Earth and fulfill our mission:
“It is a true reunion when reincarnated beings return to the World of Truth at the right time. Upon arrival, they are guided to the regions with which they are spiritually aligned, going through an adjustment period. Everything is based on attraction. They relearn the customs of our true Homeland, review their experiences and actions from their earthly journey, and share updates about life on Earth or receive news about their loved ones in the Spiritual Realm.”
2. Say Your Prayers
Prayer is one of the most direct ways to connect with the Spiritual World, linking us to God, Jesus, and Blessed Spirituality. Through it, we receive the support we need to face the pain of grief.
It also fosters a bond of love, care, and protection with our loved ones who continue their journey of spiritual evolution on another plane. By elevating our thoughts and filling them with love, we strengthen this connection.
In The Dead Do Not Die, Paiva Netto describes prayer as a practical tool not only to learn about the eternity of life but to embrace this reality, freeing ourselves from the fears associated with death. He writes:
“It is wise, therefore, not to fear it. Furthermore, the practice of prayer drives away fear, opening our consciousness to the eternity of life. The very act of praying means turning to a Higher Being who transcends what we call death.”
Prayer helps dispel fear. Therefore, we invite you to pray whenever you feel the need—it brings strength, perseverance, comfort, and courage.
If you ever feel too weak to pray, or if anxious thoughts overwhelm you, seek support from a close friend, family member, or any other loved one.
+ Enter the names of your loved ones in the Book of Prayers.
Still in the book The Dead Do Not Die, under the subtitle “Day of the Living,” Paiva Netto shares his personal experience with prayer when his beloved parents and sister returned to the Homeland of Truth:
“When my dear and beloved parents, Idalina Cecília de Paiva (1913-1994) and Bruno Simões de Paiva (1911-2000), and my beloved sister, Lícia Margarida de Paiva (1942-2010), passed away, my heart was in deep pain. But I immediately started an emotional conversation with the Creator, so as to lessen the longing for them and to send them messages of peace and gratitude. I soon felt they were still alive, for the dead do not die! I often say that when one prays, the Soul breathes, enriching one’s spiritual and human existence. Saying a prayer is essential to uncloud the horizon of the heart.”
By sharing his experience of turning to Jesus in prayer during the passing of his loved ones, Brother Paiva highlights it as a source of strength and support from the Divine Providence in the challenging moments of life, helping us face and overcome the pain of grief.
3. Cherish Good Memories
The good memories shared with a loved one on Earth play a crucial role in easing the pain of grief.
They remind us of special moments that will forever remain in the hearts of those who have passed and those who remain on Earth, defining circumstances that contributed to the expansion of love and affinity. Meanwhile, difficult moments, especially those associated with the final days of a loved one’s physical life, are temporary and will fade over time.
“Death is a natural phenomenon of life and requires adjustments both for those who return to the Spiritual Realm and for those who remain on Earth. Longing manifests itself on this side of existence as well as on the other, because the feeling of Fraternal Love keeps Souls interconnected. Grief is a process that must be respected. It is human. We must offer understanding and support so that no one feels alone in this moment. However, we always kindly advise against dwelling on sorrow, as it also affects the Spirit in recovery, who is much more sensitive to what is transmitted to them.” (Source: The Dead Do Not Die)
Even in cases of suicide—which “does not solve anyone’s anguish,” as stated by the late Brother Alziro Zarur (1914–1979), since this impulsive act brings great suffering to the Spirit, who arrives prematurely in the Spiritual Homeland—for those who remain on Earth and feel deep sorrow for the passing of a loved one under these circumstances, it is equally essential to remember the good moments shared with them. Brazilian psychologist Gabriela Gehlen, in an interview for the Viver é Melhor! [Living Is Better!] program on Good Will TV, highlights the importance of preserving a loved one’s life story:
“Those grieving a suicide loss need to bring back the person they’ve lost—their life story, their biography, their unique aspects, what made an impact on others’ lives. Sharing stories, reliving moments, and discovering things they didn’t know before. In our practice, we create a ‘life certificate’ to counterbalance the heavy weight of a death certificate. Anyone can do this; anyone who is grieving. It’s simply a piece of paper where we write down everything we remember about that person’s life: their signature phrase, what made them laugh, their favorite song, their favorite place. Why? Because we need to reclaim that person as an individual, in all their uniqueness, and not define them solely by how they died. And what do we say to someone grieving a suicide loss—or any kind of loss? ‘I am here. If you want to talk, I am here; if you need help, I am here; if you need time, I am here and will wait.’ Because any ready-made phrase might not come across well or sound sincere. So, depending on how close we are to them, just hug them and say, ‘I am here, and I will go through this with you.’ And then truly be present to listen.”
We hope these three approaches—acknowledging the eternity of life, saying your prayers, and cherishing good memories—help you cope with the pain of grief and bring comfort and peace to your heart.
In addition to spiritual support, it is important to seek psychological assistance when needed, especially if the pain of grief persists and prevents us from gradually resuming daily activities.
For those grieving a suicide loss, seeking professional help is even more essential, particularly if they lack a strong support system and feel isolated in their pain.
We emphasize the teachings of our spiritual friend Dr. Bezerra de Menezes, in the World Revolution of the Spirits of Light, in the Fourth Revelation, the Divine Religion, in a spiritual message from October 29, 2005:
“Light up, through the power of uplifting deeds, the true lights that shine like powerful beacons, rising from earthly spheres to the Heights, where those who already shine in the Spiritual World dwell. This is what we ask of you. We understand the feeling of longing. But instead of tears, do good actions!”
May peace and strength fill your heart!
